what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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