Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
