Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
