This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
