I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
