3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
