I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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