So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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