you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
