yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
