he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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