She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I would fuck him just for his dog
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize