I hate all girls vehemently.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
