What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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