Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
