Plan B is the new Plan A
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
