oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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