There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
