I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
