dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
