Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize