so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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