ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
