Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize