Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
