Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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