god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
