Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
