how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize