HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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