She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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