Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
