Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
