I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
