I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
