and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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