she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
why is half of my head shaved?
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