so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
