there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
