I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
