She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
