If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
