Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
