Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
