Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
