hell yes lets make some ravioli
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
