I bet he comes in French.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
