Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
