you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
