i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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