youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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