hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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