wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
