i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
