If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Quick, to the slutcave!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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