so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
how drunk are you?
Several
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
