I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
try to milk me bitch
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
