his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
