is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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