Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
