Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
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